Dealing with Empty-Nestness

How many times have you heard, "Enjoy them now, they'll be gone before you know it."? I know I've heard it a lot as I've raised my four kids. Never did I dream it would be the case for me. Well, this last month my husband and I joined the ranks of what is known as "empty nesters". That's right, all four of kids are away at school. I guess this makes us "mostly" empty nesters as they'll be home for Christmas and summer breaks. 

Lots of folks have told me how nice it'll be for Brian and I to have time together to do things we want or how much money we'd be saving once the last one goes. While that is true, no one mentions how you now need to do most of the chores yourself or how many leftovers you have because you've forgotten how to cook for just two or how it feels when it comes time for night prayer and you're the only one here to pray it. No one ever said how dinner time can end up being a quick 15 minutes because you and your spouse have had at least one or two other people at the table keeping up conversations for the past 25 years. And even though I knew it was coming, everyone forgot to mention just how quiet and lonely the house feels when you're the only one home. 

So now that's off my shoulders, what does one do to deal with the "empty nest syndrome"? I'm sure there are a ton of websites, books and even YouTube videos with advice, but I've decided to stay with the basics.

1) Pray. That's the first and foremost priority. Pray for your spouse. Pray for your kids. Pray for your extended family, your friends, the Church, the World. You can do this at home, at Mass, at Adoration. Just be sure you're doing it. 'Nuff said.

2) Love on your spouse. My husband has been doing an amazing job this last week showing this as I've been down with a viral thing causing me vertigo. I've actually been home from work for over a week. He's been making sure I'm keeping up on my meds, getting me tea and food, not to mention going to the salle today to be the "office guy" and doing my spot at Adoration tonight. Last night we talked about planning some specific things to do together, and the smile on his face when I suggested making homemade pasta was worth more than I could have imagined!

3) Fellowship with others. Plan a meal with another couple or family. Go to coffee with a friend. Join a Bible study or other group at church. Also be sure that you're serving in some capacity somewhere- church, a food bank, pregnancy center, etc. There are a lot of people out there needing a bit of help!

I guess I wrote this as a reminder for myself as much as sharing it with others. Let me know what other ideas you may have for getting ready and dealing with being an empty nester!

And Sew It Goes

My latest fabric adventure has become a joy and privilege as I've started making & selling pocket oratories and quilted icons. Theses were inspired by The Little Oratory by David Clayton and Leila Lawler as well as a photo of a beautiful French vintage travel prayer packet found on Pinterest. I started making these this past spring and opened up my Etsy shop "Piccolo de Luce" which means a little bit of light. It has given me so much joy to have folks buy these tiny traveling oratories which helps them to be able to pray wherever they may be. I'm working on revising my design and plan on having them ready for share the middle of October.

                      

                                One of my Triptych (three-sided) Pocket Oratories

I've also started making some of my own quilts, and I am super excited to have had one in this weekend's Quiltopia Quilt Show at The Willamette Heritage Center at the Mill. It was a fun quilt to make, and I'm happy with the way it came out. 

                                    

                                                    My "Put a Bird On It" Quilt

After reading about winterizing old houses on Like Mother Like Daughter last week, I've decided to start making the list for our 1912 uninsulated and sometimes very damp farmhouse. The one project that I'm most looking forward to doing is the "door cover quilts". With the winter breezes that blow through our house (remember, uninsulated) this should be a fun project to help us stay a bit warmer. Be sure to check out LIke Mother, Like Daughter for more terrific winterizing suggestions.

     

                   The sun is shining now, but Old Man Winter's just around the corner.

I'd love to hear about your latest project- sewing, crafting, cooking or whatever you've got going on. It's way more fun to share projects and bits of life with others as we continue on our journeys!

Saturday Scribblings- Vocation Time

WHERE YOUR TALENTS AND 

THE WORLD’S NEEDS CROSS, 

THERE LIES YOUR VOCATION.

-ARISTOTLE

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word vocation as:

1 a :  a summons or strong inclination to a particular state or course of action; especially :  a divine call to the religious life

   b :  an entry into the priesthood or a religious order

     2 

a :  the work in which a person is employed :  occupation

   b :  the persons engaged in a particular occupation

     3

  the special function of an individual or group

I've always thought of my vocation as a wife and mom especially since I think it falls under the "strong inclination to a particular state...". In the last 9 years, however, my vocation has grown to include the second part of the definition, "the work in which a person is employed". I hadn't thought a whole lot about my jobs as being vocational since many people work at jobs they don't necessarily feel they've been called to do. A few years ago, our executive director at SFC said something about my fencing instructor job being more than just that. She likened it to a vocation. After having thought about for a while, I realized she is absolutely correct.

What a joy it is for me to have a group of people (from age 7 to a lot older than that) who I get the privilege to teach the sport of fencing. As I start my tenth year of teaching this month, I can look back on some of the now-grown fencers who started in one of our musketeer classes when their weapons were almost taller than they were. We've celebrated achievements, both fencing and non-fencing with numerous folks who have passed through our club. We've seen graduations from high school and college, marriages and even a baby or two. I have been able to grow in friendship with so many people I probably wouldn't have gotten to ever know if it weren't for fencing. I can even quip, "some of my best friends are fencers" and actually mean it.

Now that I've been officially given the title of head instructor, I've made the commitment to staying at the club for another 10 years, God-willing (and the creek don't rise). It's made our lives here at home a little bit more crazy, but with Josh and David at school and my girls heading off in the next year, it is good timing. 

All this to say, I've also opened another chapter to my fencing vocation this week. I had gotten to attend a USFA referee seminar in September up in Vancouver, Washington at Northpointe Fencing Club with Justin Meehan. I had taken three of our teenage fencers with me, and we had a great time learning what it takes to be a USFA referee. 

Since then, we've all been studying the guides to be able to take the test in order to go on to the next step of being rated. I can happily say that between last night and this morning, I passed all the tests I could in order to take that step. They were online exams-a general knowledge plus weapon (foil, epee, sabre) specific. The funniest part for me was that my sabre test score was the highest out of all of them, and I don't really referee sabre! 

I guess I write this as encouragement to anyone out there who is wondering if what they are doing in their life could be considered a vocation. If you know you are doing what you have been called to do, then stick with it! If you are not where you think you should be, ask the Lord to direct you to what you should be doing for Him. Remember:

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.      

Colossians 3:17

Saturday Scribblings- Little Things

Sitting here on this sunny October day with a house cleaner than it was just a few hours ago, I am feeling very grateful for the moment of calm. The girls are off working today while the boys are entering their third month of school- one 20 minutes away at seminary and one on the other side of the country. Brian's back at school this week along with a pretty bad bout of allergies. These two together have hit him full force. The good part for right now I have quiet for a bit of time.

I took the morning to do something I haven't been able to get to due to my work schedule, I cleaned the house. It started with me thinking that I should pay myself for cleaning then all of the sudden, I remembered St. Therese's little way and realized this could be a small sacrifice I could do. With that in my mind, I was able to get through the bathroom, kitchen and rest of downstairs without complaining. How much faster it seemed to go with a good attitude.

I even found a couple of embroidered linen pieces to decorate the reading chair and the Our Lady of Fatima corner. Little things can make a difference in our homes too. 

So now with house cleaning and breakfast behind me, I am looking forward to spending some time working on my October blocks of the month from the Greenbaum's First Fridays class. Each block is a little part of a bigger thing, and now I'm thinking to whom I may give the finished quilt. I'm also enjoying listening to EWTN's radio show, The Good Fight with Barabra McGuigan. She always spurs me on to a stronger Catholic life.

This is why I am looking forward to attending not only Mass tomorrow, but also taking part in the life chain in Salem. It may only seem like a little thing, but sometimes that's all that we are called to do.